It took years, but Maureen Moore came to realise that bad things can happen through no fault of your own.
The Stolen Generations survivor now understands that her mother was not to blame for the authorities taking her away after her father had abandoned the family.
And she credits a Catholic priest who listened to her with helping her to the realise she was not to blame for the abuse she received at the hands of her violent, alcoholic husband.
When friends introduced Maureen to the late Fr Gerard Dowling, a 40-year friendship began. ‘I used to go to him for counselling, and it was like that for a while,’ she says. ‘I didn’t have confidence in myself. Everything that happened to me was my fault—that’s the way I thought—but with him, I learnt that it wasn’t.
‘He took me to see Good Will Hunting. One of the actors, Robin Williams, he took this kid and he said, “It’s not your fault.”’ (Maureen is referring to Williams’ character’s reassurance to the eponymous Will, who had suffered abuse as a child.) ‘So that’s why I realised everything that had happened to me wasn’t my fault.’
Fr Gerard had a long-running radio program The Family Counsellor
on the station then known as 3UZ. Maureen drove him to and from the weekly show, and helped present it. ‘And I used to take him anywhere he wanted to go, like doctor’s appointments and everything like that,’ she says. ‘And then in his old age, I was more a counsellor to him.’
Maureen is a cradle Catholic, having been brought up in the faith by her foster family, but says as she got older, she gave up the Church. ‘It was only when I met Fr Gerard that I started to go back to church. And now I still go to church every Sunday.’
Maureen’s friend Eleanor, who was with her during the conversation with Melbourne Catholic, added, ‘She’s very, very useful in church because she sits up the back and keeps an eye on the kids, and if they suddenly decide they need to go to the loo in the middle of Mass, she takes them out.
‘She’s very much someone who greets people as they come in and knows everyone and is very involved with just trying to keep a bit of order,’ Eleanor says, explaining that Maureen is ‘very good’ with all the kids who attend Mass at the parish.
‘They just take one look at me, and they go, “Okay, we’ll start behaving,”’ Maureen jokes.
I don’t do things for recognition. I do it because I love doing it.
Her dedication and service were recognised last year by the National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Catholic Council when she won the NATSICC Elder Service to the Community award. The council honours people who have lived out Gospel values in their lives and in their work. ‘Her strength, compassion, and unwavering commitment have earned her the award, recognising her significant contributions and the love and care she has shown to those around her,’ NATSICC said of Maureen.
‘I don’t do things for recognition,’ she says. ‘I do it because I love doing it. Greeting people in church and looking out for the kids at the back, I love doing it.
‘I know nearly everybody, and if a new person comes in, I say, “Oh, welcome to our church. Take a seat and we’ll look after you.”’
That caring, inclusive attitude stems, at least in part, from Maureen’s past. She was removed from her family at a very young age and didn’t see her parents again until she was 16. By this time, both her mother and father had more children, separately, and the other siblings who had been removed were already reunited with their parents.
I’m at peace with myself. Things happened and I’ve learnt to live with it.
‘I was the last one to get back to the family,’ she says. ‘I had good times, but I also felt that I didn’t belong there.
‘I didn’t know I was Aboriginal until probably about 20 years ago when my mother decided to open up. My mother would not talk about it because she felt guilty. Mum and I did talk at the end, but … I don’t know. If things happened, they happened and ... I think that’s what’s made me a caring person today.
‘I’m at peace with myself. Things happened and I’ve learnt to live with it.’
Banner image: Symbolic tree in the colours of the Aboriginal flag. (Photo courtesy of NATSICC.)
