‘That’s so you’: how friendship shaped one woman’s call to religious life

Friends are everything to Missionaries of God’s Love (MGL) sister Isobel Stewart. They were by her side as the former primary school teacher discerned the call to religious life and remain there now as she navigates the busy life of a sister.

Sr Isobel’s path to religious life began with a deepening of her faith before the COVID pandemic. Late in 2019, she attended a Summer School of Evangelisation, a week-long retreat. ‘It was really powerful for me to see a vibrant group of both lay people and religious who were really alive in their faith,’ she says.

‘They had this joy that was very much connected to their faith. And I wanted it.’

The pandemic was good for my discernment actually. Life stopped [and] I encountered the Lord in a new and deeper, more powerful way.

The summer camp was the first time she had met MGL sisters, who are an Australian order founded in the 1980s. ‘I wouldn’t say I was discerning at the time. I actually was just hungry to hang out with them and go to all their events. Something kind of drew me.’

She took a year off to do more in her faith, although activity was curtailed by lockdowns. ‘The pandemic was good for my discernment actually. Life stopped (and) I encountered the Lord in, I guess, a new and deeper, more powerful way,’ she says.

Once the world opened up again, she prepared to go back to teaching, but she found she did not want to. There was no epiphany, however, and her discernment gradually unfolded through the year.

It was through friendship that her calling became clearer. In a phone call with a close friend—herself an MGL sister—Sr Isobel was seeking advice on whether to take up an offer of a job that, on paper, seemed perfect but left her feeling unsettled.

Her friend asked her: ‘Instead of thinking about what job to take, what do you actually want for your life? If you were to die tomorrow, what would you have wished that you did with your life?’

Sr Isobel took a moment to write what she describes as a sort of prayer focused on her life and her hopes and dreams, while her friend prayed for her. ‘At the end of that, she said, “Okay, looking at your list of your heart’s desires and what you want to do with life, does that point you to one of those jobs?” And I was just in silence on the end of the phone because I was like, “Umm, it doesn’t point me to a job.”’

She says she was in shock, and scared by the realisation that she wanted a religious life. ‘What do I do now?’ she asked her friend. ‘You don’t have to do anything now,’ the friend replied, suggesting she put the decision in God’s hands.

I was like, ‘Wow, that’s my friend. She’s doing God’s will. That’s so cool.’ It was just really bold and countercultural.

Sr Isobel says having God speak to her through a trusted, loved friend made her more likely to listen to her heart than she may have been had she perceived the call as an ultimatum.

‘Later, I said to her, “Did you know I was called to be a sister? Were you prompting me because you knew that I was meant to be a sister?” She said, “No, but I wondered, because I could see that you were on fire for the Lord.”’

Another friend, Jenelle, says she was ‘taken aback’ when Isobel first told her she was joining the MGL Sisters. ‘I don’t think I ever told her that,’ Jenelle says. ‘I had no idea that she was discerning religious life. I think I didn’t show it because I wanted to be supportive, but that was my initial reaction. Now I couldn’t see it any different. It just suits her so much.’

Jenelle is one of what Sr Isobel calls her ‘two besties’, friends made at the Summer School of Evangelisation and the first she has had who share her faith deeply. Isobel’s vivacity stood out to Jenelle: ‘She was very fun. She’d invite me out, like to gigs and things like that.’

Having good friends helps you discover who you are. I feel like I know myself better.

Jenelle admits to feeling a mix of emotions about Isobel’s decision to become a sister—awe, grief and even a touch of envy. ‘I was like, “Wow, that’s my friend. She’s doing God’s will. That’s so cool.” It was just really bold and countercultural.’ She was also wrestling with her own call to a vocation: ‘I’d been asking God to call me to the sisters. So I was like, “Why did you call her, not me? I want to go too.”’

Yet she concedes that Sr Isobel’s journey helped her discern her own path to becoming a covenant member of a lay community, the Disciples of Jesus. ‘Isobel did encourage me to think about taking covenant, which is a different level of commitment,’ she says.

Sr Isobel says her friendships provided crucial affirmation for her discernment. ‘They said it was so “me”. My friends sort of echoing that I was hearing [the call] correctly, that it made sense, what I was feeling drawn to—that really helped.

‘Having good friends helps you discover who you are. I feel like I know myself better.’

Having such strong friendships also meant the sacrifice of leaving them behind as she undertook training in Canberra. ‘There was probably a little bit of fear before I joined because I had such good relationships. I worried what would happen when I joined the sisters, moved to a different physical location, and having to give up my phone and social media.’ But her friendships have endured, ‘and actually strengthened in many ways,’ she says.

It just was really where she belonged.

Jenelle has also noticed their friendship evolved as Isobel embraced religious life. ‘There were periods where I couldn’t just call her and have a chat. I had to wait for her to call me,’ Jenelle says. ‘[I realised] we didn’t need to talk all the time to still be friends. And when we did catch up, it was quality.’

Visiting Isobel at the MGL Sisters’ centre in Canberra confirmed Jenelle’s sense that her friend had made the right choice. ‘It’s like constant sisterhood all the time … It just was really where she belonged.’